Manhood Training with Lenon Honor ~ Part 9
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For the last 10 months we have had problems with our neighbors. I have been really challenged over the last 2 weeks. Our neighbors are drug addicts and alcoholics. I have had to call the police because of domestic situation including arguing, fighting, yelling, etc. There are two grandparents who live there and numerous young adults. At one point there were 11 adults living in the house and two toddlers. The house is a one bedroom with two sheds. Some of the adults live in one of the sheds.
I have tried my best to be patient and to be peaceful. However, everyone has a limit. About two months ago I almost got into a physical altercation with one of the adults that lived at the house. I am not a violent personal at all but I do have a limit. When you are dealing with people who have a background of dysfunction, drugs, and alcohol there will always be issues. We have so many issues with our neighbors and I have been tested. Recently we have had some major issues with the neighborhood in general. Two nights ago a man and his girlfriend were walking down the street and around 9:30 pm. They were in the middle of the street and the man kept looking at me while he walked by. He seemed scared. Once he passed by I look in his direction and he was holding a gun behind his back. Yesterday a car ran into our fence near the area where our children have their table and chairs set up. These are all signs that it is time for my family to move from this neighborhood.
I have been really challenged as a man in that I feel like I am walking a tight rope between being peaceful and patient and being violent and reactionary. No one is all good. And no one is all bad. We all have good and bad in us. The good in me says to be peaceful, patient, and look beyond the moment. The bad in me says be violent against those who continue to compromise our comfort level. But the truth of the matter is that the solution is to simply move. My wife and I are working to move as soon as possible.
You young men must understand that as a man there will be times when you will be challenge. Life will challenge your resolve, your integrity, and your patience. It is important that you remain calm and do not allow negative emotions to compromise your ability to resolve whatever issues you are facing. We have to be very careful about our emotions because negative emotions can cause us to do something that damages ourselves, our family, or other people. Doing something destructive can compromise everything that you hope to accomplish in life.
In my experience I have seen that women tend to be more emotional than men. This is a good thing because emotions can give you an indicator about what is going on good or bad. Good emotions are indicators are general indicators that something good is happening. Bad emotions are indicators are general indicators that something bad is happening. Men tend to be less emotional. The challenge is that emotions, in and of themselves, do not solve problems. What solve problems is being able to think critically so as to determine what it is that is causing that negative emotion. Once you determine what is causing the negative emotion you can work to solve the issue and eliminate the negative emotion.
As men it is very important to maintain our calm and to maintain our peace. Especially if you have anger issues or childhood trauma you have to be able to manage that anger and those issues so that they never take control of you. That is part of being a man. A boy is subject to his emotions and will allow his negative emotions to dictate his behavior. A boy is in control of his emotions and he does not allow his negative emotions to take control of his thoughts, his words, and his actions.
Over the last 10 months I have been tested as a man. My neighbor’s behavior has created negative thoughts in my mind and I have tried my best to stay focused on the goal. The goal has nothing to do with my neighbors. The goal has nothing to do with the neighborhood. The goal has to with me doing what I have to do as a man to move my family out of this neighborhood. I will not be able to accomplish goal if I allow myself to succumb to negative emotions. Again emotions do not solve problems. Thinking and actions solves problems.
Inside of our home everything is beautiful and peaceful. The external no longer supports the internal. Over the years the neighborhood has gotten worse. We would never recommend that a person stay in a place where abuse is going on. This can be a relationship, it can an environment, a job, or a neighborhood.