Long Term Marriage With No Intimacy ~ Relationship Advise
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I hope you and your family are doing well. I am a 29 years old woman, a parenting student of two girls ages 10 and 8 year old. Also, I am undergraduate student at the University of California-Davis (UC DAVIS) and I am majoring in Pharmaceutical Chemistry B.S and Chicana/o Studies. I am in my senior year in this university and will be finishing up in Winter Quarter 2016. Event though, I have been a positive person my husband was dishonest and betrayed me.
I have been married for 12 years in a half and I recently discovered that my husband cheated on me since April 24th. This has been the first betrayal since we have been married. After I found his phone, he took it from my hands and left to work. When he came back he had deleted the texts. I recovered them by using Dr. Fone for Android cells phones so I got all the details of the affair from that. He was not talking at all. My husband cheated on me every weekend with a woman at his job since April and I discovered it on June 21st through his text messages on his cell phone. He paid for hotels, breakfast, lunch, and bought beer. He was abusing marijuana and beer daily for years.
First off, I wanted a divorce but I decided to give him a second chance but I am not sure. Plus, I recently found that I am 10 weeks pregnant and was looking into getting an abortion but my husband does not want me to.
I am very confused if I should stay with him or leave him. For me, I feel so much pain and I have been faithful to him. His affair has effected my mental health. He has been cheating on me for a long time and his texts messages said that he wanted this women to be his wife and this hurts. He says he was playing with her because he wanted sex since I was not giving that to him. I think this is unacceptable and I do not believe it is my fault he cheated. He stopped smoking weed and I told him to quit his job where she worked. The affair is over now . I feel that he is with me only because of my girls since he would tell her that he couldn’t leave me because I was going to take my girls from him when he was in an affair with her. This is illogical for me to take his kids. He says he loves me and wants to be with me but I am so confused. I do not know if he fell in love with her.
Can you please give me some advice on my relationship? What is your perspective? Should I stay or leave since I am going to continue my education? I fear that he will cheat on me again in the future since I plan on applying to medical school in 2016. I just feel so trapped in this relationship and I do not know if it is worth saving or moving on with my life. I want to let this go but I cannot and I am in need of some advice. I argued with him about it every day and its effecting my mind. Do you have any advice for a mother and children in a separation of this type? How do you talk about this affair and possibly separation with your children?
Thank you for your time and god bless you and your family
Marriage and Divorce ~ How To Prepare Your Children
I Am Pregnant And He Cheated On Me ~ What Should I Do?
If you are in a relationship and you are not happy in the relationship. You can ask these questions:
1. Do you feel that you are actually in a true relationship with your husband?
2. If there is a relationship is there anything that can be done to change the quality of the relationship?
3. If there is not a true relationship are you truly married to your husband?
4. If there is not a true relationship then why have I stayed?
5. Will leaving the marriage be to your benefit?
6. Will leaving the marriage be to your son’s benefit?
7. If leaving the marriage to your benefit and to your son’s benefit then what is stopping you from leaving the marriage?