Manhood Training with Lenon Honor ~ Part 3
Consultation with Lenon: www.lenonhonor.com/consultations
Books by Lenon Honor: www.lenonhonor.com/books
Let’s talk male female relationships. It must be understood that there are many people who talk about positive male/female relationships but have not had the experience of being in a positive relationship. Therefore, when they speak about positive male/female relationships they are not speaking from a place of wisdom. They are speaking from a place of ignorance. Young men must be very careful about this because a lot of the information that is online is based upon primp culture. There are many men online who speak about male/female relationships and their orientation is rooted in pump culture, misogyny, and sexism. You can hear elements of their orientation in the language that they use while speaking about male/female relationships. They may refer to men as Pimps, Macks, Players, Hustlers. They may refer to women as Bitches, Hoes, Maggots, Thots, Whores, Bed Winches, Beasties, Hoochies, Skanks, Skeezas, etc. All of the pejoratives are not only disrespectful towards women but are also designed to dehumanize women. The pimp must always dehumanize a woman in order to have her comply with his wishes. This speaks to the issue of power and control over women as is expressed in pimp culture. This same pimp culture is often distributed in relationship advise books and videos by men who have had a deep seeded hatred for women. Their hatred is present in their teachings about male/female relationships. This is precisely why young men must be careful about the types of information that they are receiving especially with respects to manhood, fatherhood, and male/female relationships.
When we talk about male/female relationships I have a saying, “All relationships are based upon the value that you place upon yourself”. This is why self-esteem is important. The higher your self-esteem the more value you place upon yourself. How do you raise your value? You develop within you the ability to offer something of value to someone else. You will put yourself in a better position to experience a positive relationship. I’d like to ask you a question, “What is the value of male/female relationships?” There are many men who think that the value of male/female relationships is sex. This is a very short sided and immature perspective. Boys tend to seek short term and instant gratification which is rooted in immaturity. Men tend to seek long term and gradual development of a vision that reaches into the future which is rooted in maturity; as in raising a loving family with a woman.
Understand that if you have an immature perspective about male/female relationships then you will experience negative relationships over and over again. This is why I teach young men that the best thing to do is to work on themselves so that they can have something of value to offer to a relationship. Understand that it is difficult to be in a negative relationship. It is easy to be in a positive relationship. The difference is that negative relationships are the result of a lack of personal work and personal development. Positive relationship are the result of consistent personal work and personal development; much of this work and development should take place prior to entering into a relationship.
Male/Female relationships are about building something of value and consequence that reaches into the future; it reaches beyond the moment, it reaches beyond your immediate sexual needs. If you approach male/female relationships with this long term orientation then you will take more care and you treat your partner with much more respect and care because you are looking long-term.
Young men understand that you cannot expect to be in a positive relationship with a woman if you are calling women negative words such as bitches, hoes, T.H.O.T.S, bedwinches, Skeezas, Jungle Bunnies, Whores, Maggots, etc.