Manhood Training with Lenon Honor ~ Part 5
Consultation with Lenon: www.lenonhonor.com/consultations
Books by Lenon Honor: www.lenonhonor.com/books
In this video I talk about husbandhood and what it means to be a husband. Once you become a husband there are some special challenges that young men must be aware of. In particular, the challenge of pregnancy, labor, birth, and the postpartum experience. Speaking of pregnancy and birth my wife I had our first two children at a birthing center. The last 3 children we gave birth at home and I delivered them with my own hands. This speaks to the issue of manhood, the value an importance of positive relationships, and how we must operate as husbands. Many men believe that a woman must give to the man and support the man. But it should be 50-50. And in my experience I like to be able to give more because the more that I give the more value I have. The more value I have the more I feel like a man. As a man you value is directly related to your ability to offer something of value and consequence to others.
My wife and I have been together for 15 years now. We met in Oakland, California. My wife was 21. I was 25. When I met my wife I had been single for about a year and a half. And the relationship prior to my wife was with an older woman who was 33. I was 23 and the older woman was from South Africa. The relationship with the older woman was decent. However, she was not as honest with me as she should have been. I have always been a very loyal and honest person. The challenge for me was that I kept choosing women to be in male/female relationships with who were not fully faithful. This devastated me because I was very loyal and faithful to all of the women that I have been in relationships with.
One of the questions that we have to ask ourselves is, “Why am I attracting into my life certain types of people to be in relationships with?” Men and women should ask this question. Some women have low standards and very low expectations for men. When you have low standards and low expectations then the likelihood of you being in a positive relationship with a man who is honorable will be decreased because your expectation will not facilitate a positive relationship with a man who is honorable and who will commit to you fully, be a protective force, and respect you.
I would like to share 3 relationships that I was in where the women were not as honest with me as they should have been. Those relationships were painful but I did not allow those relationships to cause me to have a negative view about women or to disrespect women. Instead I continued to work on myself and refine myself so that I could attract the type of woman in my life who would be faithful and loyal.
Relationships 1: When I was in the 11th grade there was a Mexican girl who took interest in me. We talked on the phone for a few weeks and then we became boyfriend and girlfriend. I mostly spent time with her at school in between classes and also on the bus ride to school and back. One time I had a performance at school and after the performance my girlfriend asked me to go to a party with her. At first I said no because it was late and I was supposed to go home but she kept asking me and I finally agreed. She promised that her friend would drive me home after the party was over. When we got to the party there were people drinking, smoking, dancing, and doing drugs. Hours passed and it was getting really late and people started to leave. My girlfriend told me that her friend was not going to be able to drive me home and that I would have to stay the night. I agreed and I did not call my mother to tell her anything. There were about 10 people left at the party and people started pairing up to have sex. They went to different rooms and the house and my girlfriend and I were in the living room. She went to the bathroom and came back with just her underwear on. I took my pants and shirt off and I got in the bed. We began to grind on each other. We did not have sex but we came very close to having sex. In the morning her friend took me home.
Once summer break started I spent more time at her house and a couple of times she came to my house to visit. We did not have sex but we did kiss and touch on each other. About a month into the summer I was at my uncle Frankie’s house and my girlfriend called me. She wanted me to come over and I couldn’t get to her house. She got mad and we had an argument. After a while she told me that the only reason why she became my girlfriend was because she had made a bet with her friend to see who could have sex with me first. In essence, she betrayed me.