Is It Wise To Hold On to People Who Are Happy With Their Unhappiness?

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Video Notes:

There are people who are happy with their unhappiness and these are the people that you should avoid.

It can be a challenge to find happiness. Sometimes we may reach a level of happiness and we may do something, say something, or think something that diminishes our level of happiness. Sometimes other people may diminish our level of happiness by what they say to us, do to us, or how they think about us.

Since happiness and peace can be difficult to find it becomes important that we preserve our happiness. We can do this by limiting the amount of external influences that adversely affect our levels of happiness.

There are different levels of happiness. Some people are content with lower levels of happiness and they are happy with those levels of happiness. Some of us want to experience higher levels of happiness and in order to experience these levels of happiness we protect the levels of happiness that we already have and build upon them.

Love is not one thing. Love is the evolution of many different things. Love is the ascension of many things.

There are some people who are happy with their unhappiness. They may perceive their own unhappiness as a form of happiness and they are happy with their unhappiness. It is ok to avoid such people.

There are people who say that you have to deal with everyone. This is not true. It is a choice in the end. Do you have to deal with someone who is happy with their own unhappiness? No. It is a choice in the end.

When you accept the abuse of others you enable them to continue to abuse you. When you hold on to those who are happy with their unhappiness then they will continue to abuse you and you will become unhappy. It is a choice between maintaining your peace or maintaining your own unhappiness.

Why is it that we tend to be loyal to those who bring with us suffering?

Why is it that we tend to be loyal to those who are happy with their unhappiness?

When we hold on to people who are happy with their unhappiness we empower them to continue to be unhappy. You also enable them to continue to harm you.

It is not your job to make the person who is happy with their unhappiness happy. And there is nothing that you can do to make them happy.

The person who is happy with their unhappiness may perceive unhappiness as happiness and as they deal with you they may think they are bringing you happiness but what they are bringing is pain, suffering, and unhappiness.

The person who is happy with their unhappiness may say that they want change but what they want is what they already have which is their own unhappiness.

You cannot love others when you have not learned to love yourself. If you truly love yourself you will not allow people to abuse you including those people who are happy with their unhappiness.

What you are responsible for is your own happiness. As you let go of people who are happy with their unhappiness other people will come into your space who are ascending their own happiness. These are the people who will positively contribute to your own happiness.

The only thing that we achieve when we try to help people who are happy with their unhappiness is our own unhappiness.

Tags: Inspirational Video, How to,Happiness, Finding Peace, Spirituality, Ajahn Brahm,Thich Nhat Hanh, Eckhart Tolle, Big think, TedX, Ted Talks, The secret, Ralph Smart, Consciousness, Self Help, Alan Watts, Native American, Spiritual Music, Ascension, Spiritual Awakening, Tony Robins, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, Sonia Barrett, Wayne Dyer, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracey, Deepak Chopra, Dale Carneige, Bob Proctor


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  • Mountain Mama

    Some people are adrenaline junkies who love drama. I’ve had a pattern I’ve since broken of ‘trying to help’ & being suddenly turned on. Now I avoid this. One way you can tell who they are is if they never want or look for a solution, especially obvious ones. Or the same things keep happening to them over & over again. It can be narcissism too as it’s often me me me.

  • Kiya Kemsit

    It is a choice, but sometimes it’s so hard when it’s your family members. But thank goodness I watch Infinite Waters & now I know two beautiful, high vibrating, wise men.  You have a beautiful family. You & your wife are amazing! Thanks for sharing! <3

  • Lara Boons

    Avoiding people who are Happy being UnHappy ?! I’ve learned by years and working on companies to be a ‘chameleon’, I mean by that ‘lowering’ / higher – ing’ myself (not so right what I say here), coming on their frequency to help and service them on companies. My personality type has that ‘chameleon thing’ as an asset. How can one HAPPY being UnHappy ?? Am I happy, that’s for me a big YES and a big NO : dependent on how you look the things and in what perspective you see the things. Somebody who is UnHappy may need some ‘conversation’ or ‘attention’, to be ‘heard one time’ and hoping there is a good reasonable answer what can serve them : answers like flat thinking with answers as ” That’s life you know ! ” would set off a bomb in them (in me too in a way). Now higher the level of own happiness can be so cruel as being perceived as ‘prudish’ at the other side too. I lookup my problems in life, I end up with blogs/articles : ” Behind every smile of a transgender person, hides a big pain “. Here we sit with Happiness in that way when our Gender Dysphoria by outing, surgeries and so on … somewhere gets in balance, with a social knife that cuts everywhere somewhere in our bodies. It’s very difficult to be Happy cause : I’ve reached this in my life so far, but there is still an UnHappy-ness involved here too. But those people dare to change their lifes, out themselves out of comfort-zones. So, is there a comfort-zone being Happy by being UnHappy for those people saying that ? My mother went back buying some clothes for me and if it fits I am Happy, I am UnHappy by not hearing me and by being a shop-o-holic. Suddenly she stands back in my house, even I said my thing (I have to be hard some times). Or is she really changing, or attention and saying : Now find me good ?! With being UnHappy, is not always an internal issue and we need sometimes to rock some boats to let see : ” Hey, and now. “. I guess people who are Happy with Being Unhappy, asking to help so they can change ? Like attention … Please give me an insight for an option ? 

  • OoStarCareBearoO

    This is a hard video to watch because I have suffered with severe depression my whole life. I was a victim of sexual and psychological abuse throughout my childhood. I feel like sadness is all I have ever known. Now as an adult and a wife, I feel I have to start changing into a happy person. My husband believes sometimes that I choose to be sad, when I could choose to be happy. He is the complete opposite of me, he is a carefree and happy person by nature. He has seen glimpses of happiness in me and says that those are the times that I shine. He just hates to see me unhappy. He tries to make me smile and laugh, and he is good at doing that, but I tell him it’s not his job to make me happy. I have to fix what is broken inside of me and try to change and be happy so that I can be the best wife I can be. I have “faked” happiness around family and friends, but I still wonder if one day I can experience “true” happiness in life. Even if the first 30 years of my life were bad, it doesn’t mean that I have to live that way the rest of my life. 

  • André Fonseca

    Sometimes only sorrow can bring about joy. We can only know happiness after having experienced sadness. But then again, a single tear of sorrow should be enough for a lifetime full of joy. Wonderful videos Lenon! Peace!

  • wise woman

    So many people revel in their unhappiness. If you somehow gave them the “perfect” life (whatever that would entail for them), they would very quickly make a hell out of that paradise. Such people are toxic, and depending upon the person and the situation, may or may not even merit an explanation on why they are being removed from your space. Some people enjoy strife, arguing and general unrest. The quicker we can identify and distance from these folks, the better we can preserve our happiness, joy and peace.

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