Natural Hair and Natural Beauty ~ A Responsible Father’s Perspective

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My daughter your hair is beautiful just the way that it is and anyone who tells you otherwise will answer to me.

My wife and I have two beautiful daughters. We have 5 children all together. One of the things that I appreciate about my wife is how she is raising our daughters in terms of how our daughters see themselves, their self-perception. In particular my wife is very careful with how she is raising our daughters in terms of how our daughters see their hair. My wife does a wonderful job at providing my daughters with what they need to develop high levels of self-esteem. I also recognize that as my daughter’s father I am also responsible for helping my daughters to understand that their natural hair is beautiful.

One of the things that is lacking in young girls lives happens to be fathers who are there to be protective forces. In particular being a protective force in regards to his daughters self-esteem; which includes how his daughters see their hair, their self-perception, and their self-esteem.

So many daughters have hair issues and when they come of age they continue to have hair issues. But the question becomes, “Where do they get these hair issues from? Where they believe that their hair is not good enough, that it is not beautiful, that their hair has to be changed to be accepted in society, or desired by men. Many young girls develop this hair issue because their self-esteem and their self-perception have not been built up properly. This is why it is important that fathers are in their daughter’s lives so that they are clear that they are beautiful just the way they are.

Men have to understand that it is your responsibility to keep your daughter safe in all areas and that part of your job is to build their self-esteem. A father should function as the primary archetype as to how a man should respect a woman and a daughter must see this as a living example each day.

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16 Comments

  • kharyzma4u
    Reply

    I totally agree. My hair is natural, and I don’t have daughters yet, but I have nieces and I tell them all the time how their hair is beautiful and how they don’t need relaxers.  Unfortunately their mom doesn’t really reinforce that, but I can only do what I can. I even have two videos up of me doing my nieces hair on my channel in order to show them and their mom how to properly care for their hair. They unfortunately have to endure torture sessions when their mom does it, because she is not PROPERLY detangling their hair. I try to teach her that she doesn’t have to yank and comb through their hair when it’s dry. Natural hair needs moisture (water) or water based conditioners in it in order to detangle without causing pain. I just wish more moms were informed on how to care for their little girls hair. I experimented with relaxers as a teen, and my mom relaxed my hair even earlier than  that, but I always loved my natural hair, and went back to it in 2009 when I began doing my youtube vids, in which some are dedicated to natural hair. THANKS for this video. I think it’s important to hear a male’s perspective on this. So awesome! this is beautiful!

  • TheVeganSkeptic
    Reply

    I don’t know if you talked about this before and I hope you don’t mind me asking but I was wondering what kind of shampoo are you guys using in the family. Do you guys use vegan shampoo/conditioner or do you guys not use any hair products at all? I know some people use no-poo method where they use baking soda or sea salt with water for the shampoo or body wash and apple cider vinegar with water for the conditioner. Some people only use water even. It’s fine if you don’t want to respond but I am just struggling to find the best vegan method to go about this since there are a lot of people doing different things. I am about to run out of my vegan shampoo and It would be really interesting for me to know what is the method you guys are using when it comes to hair and body wash.

  • negesti PINNOCK
    Reply

    I just want to say thank you for this post. My 4 girls ( who also have natural hair) my hubby and myself watch this video. Every word you said my husband agreed with it. So enlightened. When the video was finish my husband got up and gave each of his daughters a kiss and told them that they are beautiful just the way God made them. I am just smiling. GOD BLESS and peace

  • wise woman
    Reply

    Lenon, thank you SO much for this beautiful video. You brought me to tears. I was reflecting upon my own hair journey as well as that of my young daughter. Though I have worn my hair natural for the vast majority of my life, I have had just about everything done to my hair (perms, Gheri curl, hot comb pressing, texturizers, bald fade, braids with weave, dyes…) except sew in or glue down weave. I resumed my natural hair journey when I graduated high school and have worn it in locs for almost 15 years.  As a black woman myself  and being surrounded by black women growing up, I have experienced that negative side and those negative connotations about my kinky hair. My hair is it’s longest and healthiest ever. I am raising my daughter with natural hair as well. Her hair is virgin, never having been chemically processed in any way. I like to joke that there are no perms allowed in my house, but really I am serious. So many black women struggle mightily with accepting their natural hair texture and it is a sad thing. To place acidic or otherwise harmful substances like perms and dyes and glues into the hair to force it into a pattern or look other than  what the Creator gave is so damaging to the psyche and a woman’s acceptance of her true physical self. We have not traditionally been taught that wearing our hair natural can be beautiful and so healthy. Our natural kinks and curls have been seen as needing to be “controlled” or dominated by some sort of straightening method. There are plenty of natural styles for long, short or medium-length hair that are beautiful, fashionable and flattering. Even if a woman works in a traditional setting like finance, business or healthcare, if the hair is clean, well groomed and well-kept, it will almost always be accepted by employers (I worked in a traditional healthcare setting for almost 15 years with my hair natural the whole time). I hate to see black women and girls reject themselves and their own natural beauty in this way. I make it a point to massage my daughter’s kinks and curls and tell her that I love them so that she too can begin to embrace her natural hair texture. Thank you and Ayida for doing this for your girls. It is so very important. Blessings.

  • TypistAtMadotMedia
    Reply

    I work in a salon where we have a lot of ladies with beautiful, tight curls and waves, and I’m always thrilled to see ladies with natural curls, and not relaxed and straightened. Let those beautiful curls out!!!!!! 😁

  • Jay Reese
    Reply

    Amen brother! Very well said. More black men need to speak out in support of the natural hair of black women, reaffirm that their hair is beautiful just as it is (as you’ve done in this video), and stand up for black women if they are being “attacked” for insulted due to their beautiful natural black hair.

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