Overcoming Bad Relationships ~ Self Esteem

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1. I only have my mother who I would call family – I have no brothers and sisters. I also do not have a huge social group. My mother can be quite difficult and often behaved like a child ( I feel bad saying this but it’s true) and is often over emotional and confrontational when we are alone or around other people. As this is so I don’t feel comfortable introducing a potential partner to her in the short term and I also feel like there is no one to ‘vet’ the prospective partner – what can I do alternatively. Also and contrasting – my track record has been bad in terms of past relationships (there have been lots though I have never been disloyal or unkind) and I have in the past been a huge drinker and feel like of somebody looked in to my past they would think I was unsuitable for a relationship even though I am changing and improving myself and have lots of great qualities (I read lots, love to discuss ideas, love to cook, do yoga etc). How do I broach my past without putting myself down?

2. Hello Lenon. What was the first thing that got you interested in your wife when you two met the first time? i think you said, you noticed her (sexy 😀 ) bald head, ..was it the outer appearance that got you interested in the first place?

3. Hi Ayida and Lenon. I have been watching your youtube videos since almost a year now and I have been loving it : thank you for being such an inspiring example of a family unit!
I had a question about child rearing. What kind of entertainment / games do you allow to your babies or toddler to have. You must have chosen them to be educational, protective of their minds and inspiring. But how do you choose ?

And do you allow them to watch cartoons? Hear songs made for children by others?

Can you give some examples of the videos or games you give or even create for your children?

Do you analyze every game or video before giving them to your child ?

From what I’ve seen Lenon is quite used to analyzing what “lies in plain sight” in mass media 🙂 but it can be overwhelming for me sometimes, I don’t always know if I should suspect even the seemingly most “innocent” popular video for children of having a bad influence, plus I am not an expert in children psychology, and I wouldn’t want my future babies to be manipulated in a negative way by my fault without knowing it. I don’t have any right now but I m prepping to be the best mother I can be.

Another thing is that me and my husband will certainly have a job when having our future children ie we won’t be able to be there all the time with our children. I would love to be able to home school, but we’ll certainly have to entrust them to other people or schools. We will do our best to make the best choice regarding those people. But we won’t be in control of every influence our children will have.

What you suggest to make up for the difference when we are not with them?

Montessori schools?

Grand parents even though they are not perfect?

Public schools?

4. I have a question. When you are moving forward and meeting someone new touching on what you spoke on during the conference do we have to tell our new potential mate about our past abuse/trauma or move forward with a clean slate and not say anything?

Tags: how to select a husband, How to select a wife, how to, how to select a boyfriend, Positive Relationships, How to find love, How to find a man, relationship tips, relationship advice, Ayida Honor, Lenon Honor, inspirational video, Big think, TedX, TedTalks, Home birth, personal Growth, Sexual Intercourse, Human psychology, Self Esteem, low self esteem, youtube, black relationships, black women, black men, marriage counseling, how to overcome childhood trauma


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  • Candice Symone Dancer

    as usual I enjoyed the show and I your family definitely has had a positive influence on my life. As a young single woman, one of my goals is to also have a large beautiful loving family like the Honor Family. Now I know it is possible!

  • Patricia Bartusiak

    When I hear your shared advice it resonates with me so much. I wish these things you talk about in your shows could be taught at schools. (Maybe you should open one ? ? ?) School of Life for Joy. Thank you very much. You both are very kind.
    💖 Daddy loooves his daughters. Lol.
    Of course I agree with the state of affairs male to female.

    Material (tv, internet,games etc) which young people and children are exposed to is to say the least questionable.
    I always thought to myself that if schools teach sex ed. why not relationship ed. ?
    Love . P.
    Good work people. Good work.

  • Christina Haftman

    How i wish i had a father like you.  Much respect!   Create a program that produces more men of integrity like yourself.  The world needs it.  

    I had no father to love me, or be that protective force…and my life has been unguided with regards to my parents preparing me for the world.  The irony and the duality that I feel is that this has made me incredibly strong, mature, capable and independent … and on the other hand naive, playful and childlike for an extended number of years.  I vacillate between the two. Not really needing a man…and wanting to relax into the arms and loving care of one.   It difficult to explain.  Its like we missed out on being carefree in our childhood having to grow up too fast…then as an adult you want to go back and recapture that.  I see that in you when you play with your children with toys on the floor.  I totally understand how having your own family, you can rewrite your happiness and do things the way you want… and heal by creating a home full of peace and positivity, love and light.  Everything you always wanted and deserved but parents couldn’t give.   

  • pbg98pbgpbg98pbg

    Mr Honor…I think your wife is beautiful. I love how she celebrates her African and Native culture through her clothing. I wish other women would do this, then I would not stand out so much. Love and Blessings.

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